Scandal Episode 516: The Miseducation of Susan Ross
Well Scandal really cranking out the hits, huh? The past couple of episodes have been FIYR.
The Great Debate
We pick up right where we left off last week--the Republican debate. Hollis is really giving us donald trump teas with his "electric cyber wall" (wtf is that???), Mellie is sounding pretty strong and Susan is having a stroke. Typical day at the circus.
Mellie Tee'd up her defeat though and Susan ultimately knocked it out the park. She was all good until she opened the door for Fitz's name to enter the conversation. She couldn't have seen it coming so she probably shouldn't have been so down on herself after the debate, but she has to be aware that even mentioning "playboy" leads to thoughts about hoeing which leads to thoughts about the ultimate hoe himself--Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. And if you don't want your campaign to be about him, his deeds & misdeeds-- "We're not our husbands' keepers"--then you need to avoid all conversation about him like the plague, sis. Because Hollis, quick as lightening, hitchu with a "well, actually..." once you mentioned his playboy antics, commented on your ex-husband's ex-mistress running your campaign, then made room for Susan to give her sob story about her faux husband. So you see, Mellie?
*I feel like I'll be using this gif frequently in reference to Mellie. smh.
Was it just me or did it seem like Liv was ready to square up to Hollis during that first break of the debate then Mellie blocked her? He tried it.
Either way, I chuckled.
In conclusion, Susan Ross for president. Liar and all. I stand by that yesterday, today & forever more.
Mellie's Meltdown
Mellie's in OPA sulking because she lost the debate and America hates her.
But y'all. When Liv said she's going to get Mellie the Oval come hell or high water, I felt fire shot up in my bones. She's gonna expose Susan's "family".
Love Triangle Comment of the Day
Y'all know I hate talking about Liz, David & Susan, right? I don't ever forsee a long dissection on this blog about their story line. I will say this: I CAN NOT WAIT until Susan finds out that Liz is who David's been sleeping with.
#PoorMarcus
Marcus is still trying to prove that he is down for the team and that he embraces their crazy. But that OPA crazy ain't something you want any parts in, son. Trust. Gon bout your business and know that 90% of the time, Olivia is giving you sound instruction. Sure there's that other questionable 10%, but this wasn't it, bro.
Monumental Negotiations
Olivia & Alex Bae Vargas are negotiating for more tea about their opponents at one of the DC monuments b/c OPA done found out that Casey's dead army dad ain't really her dad. So they wanna know who the real daddy is. Anybody else thought Alex Bae Vargas was talking an eensy weensy bit too close to Liv's mouth?
Anyway, Alex Bae Vargas gives Liv the tea in exchange for a credible source that'll confirm Edison's tenure at the rehab facility. Alex Bae Vargas didn't even realize he was in danger once he obtained that information...this ain't Pennsylvania, son. The people in Scandalverse Washington DC are a lot dirtier than you.
Cyrus on the Come Up
Alex Bae Vargas is all excited b/c he has a source that can confirm Edison was a drug addict and even though the gov'na says he's not gonna shame a candidate's drug use, on the inside the gov'na is all high fiving Alex Bae Vargas like "yeah, bro! we got this". This is how they've been running their campaigns for years.
Then Cyrus is all "hold ya horses, kids. If you bring your hand to the fire, you will get burned"
But they're not listening. Out in these streets making statements and ish.
Okay, bros. You got it.
Mellie's Umpteenth Temper Tantrum
Shawty is exhausting. She's so out of touch, she didn't know that Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets" segment is supposed to be light-hearted, not torture.
Hey Ronnie
In a nutshell, Liv puffs up her chest and lets Ronnie know that she knows people in high places that can get him out of jail in exchange for his DNA. He says he needs a minute to decide because, ya know, his decision effects peoples lives. Still she tells him to think quick. Okay, sis!
You know who's not down with this get down? Huck. As a born-again human being who has put his evil ways aside, he knows what it looks like to be lost in the world hungry for blood. He's on a crusade to save Olivia from a life of damnation and darkness. Although elections are ugly, I agree with Huck. I don't think family should be brought into it. Keep it cute, folks. You too, trump & cruz.
Pudding POPS
Welp. Edison is blowing a fuse b/c his stint in rehab got out to the public and he's giving Olivia a tongue lashing in front of her father.
Rowan did not hesitate to clap back. Because what you not gon do is interrupt, raise your voice AND talk about his daughter all in a matter of 30 seconds. Do you see now, Mr. Edison Davis, how fudged up of a decision you made in siding with Rowan? Liv tried to warn you. But you were sleep, fam.
Jake ate chicken and said one line this episode. Bless. Way to be seen and not heard.
Lies on Lies on Lies
Edison's nurse is now executive director of the place and she swears Edison was never there. Got the Vargas campaign looking stupid. SMH. At this point, I thought Rowan followed through with his final word to Edison: "Let me handle this my way". I thought he handled it! But boy, was I wrong. CYRUS DID IT!! Just think--he risked his client looking stupid all so he can gain his rightful position as sole campaign manager for the gov'na. This man is ruthless & will stop at nothing.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE EPISODE
Marcus: "Are you kidding me with how annoying you are right now? I mean, DAMN! -- You are relentless with your whining, your crying and your complaining. You are officially THE WORST. (cue Woe is Me/Martyr Mellie) This is exactly why people don't like you. This is exactly why I don't like you even though I'm being paid to like you. This is exactly why you'll never be president."
Thank you, Shonda nem, for this moment. Most of us in the Scandal fandom (sans probably Mellie stans) have been saying this since the beginning of time to our TV screens. It feels so damn satisfying to have a character speak our truth. God bless you Shonda nem.
OLI POPE
Jesus Christmas. This heffer came into Ronnie's interrogation room banging on tables, knocking things over, shouting at people. All because he said he wasn't going to give his DNA.
She's at her last resort and she needs Ronnie's DNA yesterday. But the threatening and the blackmail, sis?
You willing to plant contraband to get this man's DNA & take Susan down? This scene screamed Rowan...it was actually reminiscent of when Tom was interrogated by Rowan in season 4...and it disturbed me. When Olivia said "You have no idea what I'm capable of" BIH...I thought I was looking into the eyes of Satan. Ish was scary!
Shawty said EFF a white hat. Whew!
Huck's Executive Order
Liv tells frick & frack she wants Ronnie's name splattered all over the news. Huck outchea tryna save hoes from themselves and tells Quinn they ain't listening to Olivia. So then Quinn goes to Abby so they can work together to knock some sense into Liv's head.
"Dear Olitz" Advice Column
Cue Fitz. Because Fitz knows how to get Olivia together. Olivia knows how to get Fitz together. But who taught Fitz the phrase "Keeping It Real"?
This scene was another epic scene to add to the already extensive list of epic Olitz scenes. Did you get your life? I got mine.
Fitz confronts Olivia about the below-the-belt games she keeps playing as it relates to Susan's baby daddy woes. Because Olivia thinks she's the only one who can offer advice, she dismisses him almost immediately. She's hypocritical as eff you see kay in this scene--calling Susan a liar when Mellie is no different (as Fitz so quickly pointed out *winks* thanks, Fitz). Olivia reached peak trash levels in this argument--sure Fitz is advocating for her candidate's opponent, but she gotta take her monster mask off and allow her bae to tear down her walls.
Liv continuing to tell people she thinks Mellie would be a great president is leading me to believe she has to say that aloud in order to convince herself! Shoom, what is known and understood is almost never told. But then she hit a low blow by saying "You married her Fitz, had children with her. You must've felt the same thing about her at some point" JESUS, LIV!
Fitz: What can I say, you think you know a person.
Liv: Funny how that works.
BIIIIIHHHHHH These two don't fight fair.
Anyways, Defiance was brought up, shouting ensued but Fitz got the final word: they can win the right way--above board. They don't have to be those horrible, manipulative DC sharks anymore. They can achieve their dreams and goals in an honorable, clean way. Okay, bet. Fitz was absolutely right.
I don't know what Liv was trying to prove by being "big & bad", perhaps the events at the end of 5a led her to this point, but she can't stay in this place. Also, Oliva shouldn't be mad at her friends for knowing her boo would read her in a manner in which she needed to be read. She was about to jump off the deep edge AGAIN but this time, she was going to enjoy it. Fitz didn't want to see that for his bae.
Fitz & Susan
Fitz implores Susan to come clean in her lies. How bad can it go, right? Look how well things turned out for him! *sarcasm*He only got by b/c he's a white man #StayWoke. But no for real, the truth is always better than lying. I enjoy Fitz when he's being the honorable man Olivia voted for and he's not being a dickhead.
That truth bomb thoooo??? "I did not earn this office. I was not fairly elected to this office."
I wanna know how much of the story Fitz told Susan? Did he go so far as to divulge that Susan's two opponents were active participants in the rigging of his election?
Come to Jesus
Marcus, just like Liv thought, was the right person to go with Mellie. He softened her by highlighting that there's a side of Mellie America has not seen & she can show them that down-to-earth side by reading Mean Tweets. Also, does Marcus keep hate tweets?
Lawd Ronnie Dead
Right when Susan decided she was gonna tell the truth, there was a ram in the bush. I guess Olivia used this as a sign too that she ain't bout that thug life for real for real because...
Olivia Calls a Truce
She calls Fitz to her office through Quinn (who I'm assuming told Abby to tell Fitz...*sigh* they're so childish) and she admitted that she wants to win with her pride & dignity. Glad she came to that conclusion b/c it wasn't gonna happen for her if she kept on like she was. This is only good for Olitz. We saw every time Olivia did something particularly evil ie Defiance, releasing her devil daddy, etc. it caused major rifts in her relationship with Fitz. & hey y'all, did you notice Olivia actually told Fitz one of the things she wanted (see above)? PROGRESS PEOPLE! Agreeing to run clean campaigns is a positive step forward for Olitz's relationship.
bee tee dubz, this was Abby & Quinn in the background:
________________________________________________________________________________
There are what, 4 episodes left this season?
But I'm excited as heck for them!
I think either Susan or Mellie will win the party nomination. Because Shonda is messy, Mellie will probably win it so that Fitz will have to hit the campaign trail and speak nothing but good things about his ex wife Mellie Grant. But most importantly, Olivia & Fitz will be working together. & they'll probably work together whether Susan gets the nomination or Mellie gets the nomination. Also most importantly, Oliva & Jake will be on complete opposite sides of the spectrum (Republican v. Democratic). Take courage, Olitzers.
BUT. I hate to deliver this blow--remember Fitz's journalist boo is a recurring character. We should expect her back soon.
What did you guys think? Let me know!!
-Candyce
The Great Debate
We pick up right where we left off last week--the Republican debate. Hollis is really giving us donald trump teas with his "electric cyber wall" (wtf is that???), Mellie is sounding pretty strong and Susan is having a stroke. Typical day at the circus.
Was it just me or did it seem like Liv was ready to square up to Hollis during that first break of the debate then Mellie blocked her? He tried it.
In conclusion, Susan Ross for president. Liar and all. I stand by that yesterday, today & forever more.
Mellie's Meltdown
Mellie's in OPA sulking because she lost the debate and America hates her.
Love Triangle Comment of the Day
Y'all know I hate talking about Liz, David & Susan, right? I don't ever forsee a long dissection on this blog about their story line. I will say this: I CAN NOT WAIT until Susan finds out that Liz is who David's been sleeping with.
#PoorMarcus
Marcus is still trying to prove that he is down for the team and that he embraces their crazy. But that OPA crazy ain't something you want any parts in, son. Trust. Gon bout your business and know that 90% of the time, Olivia is giving you sound instruction. Sure there's that other questionable 10%, but this wasn't it, bro.
Monumental Negotiations
Olivia & Alex Bae Vargas are negotiating for more tea about their opponents at one of the DC monuments b/c OPA done found out that Casey's dead army dad ain't really her dad. So they wanna know who the real daddy is. Anybody else thought Alex Bae Vargas was talking an eensy weensy bit too close to Liv's mouth?
Cyrus on the Come Up
Alex Bae Vargas is all excited b/c he has a source that can confirm Edison was a drug addict and even though the gov'na says he's not gonna shame a candidate's drug use, on the inside the gov'na is all high fiving Alex Bae Vargas like "yeah, bro! we got this". This is how they've been running their campaigns for years.
Mellie's Umpteenth Temper Tantrum
Shawty is exhausting. She's so out of touch, she didn't know that Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets" segment is supposed to be light-hearted, not torture.
Hey Ronnie
In a nutshell, Liv puffs up her chest and lets Ronnie know that she knows people in high places that can get him out of jail in exchange for his DNA. He says he needs a minute to decide because, ya know, his decision effects peoples lives. Still she tells him to think quick. Okay, sis!
Pudding POPS
Welp. Edison is blowing a fuse b/c his stint in rehab got out to the public and he's giving Olivia a tongue lashing in front of her father.
Lies on Lies on Lies
Edison's nurse is now executive director of the place and she swears Edison was never there. Got the Vargas campaign looking stupid. SMH. At this point, I thought Rowan followed through with his final word to Edison: "Let me handle this my way". I thought he handled it! But boy, was I wrong. CYRUS DID IT!! Just think--he risked his client looking stupid all so he can gain his rightful position as sole campaign manager for the gov'na. This man is ruthless & will stop at nothing.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE EPISODE
Marcus: "Are you kidding me with how annoying you are right now? I mean, DAMN! -- You are relentless with your whining, your crying and your complaining. You are officially THE WORST. (cue Woe is Me/Martyr Mellie) This is exactly why people don't like you. This is exactly why I don't like you even though I'm being paid to like you. This is exactly why you'll never be president."
OLI POPE
Jesus Christmas. This heffer came into Ronnie's interrogation room banging on tables, knocking things over, shouting at people. All because he said he wasn't going to give his DNA.
Huck's Executive Order
Liv tells frick & frack she wants Ronnie's name splattered all over the news. Huck outchea tryna save hoes from themselves and tells Quinn they ain't listening to Olivia. So then Quinn goes to Abby so they can work together to knock some sense into Liv's head.
"Dear Olitz" Advice Column
Cue Fitz. Because Fitz knows how to get Olivia together. Olivia knows how to get Fitz together. But who taught Fitz the phrase "Keeping It Real"?
Liv: Funny how that works.
BIIIIIHHHHHH These two don't fight fair.
Anyways, Defiance was brought up, shouting ensued but Fitz got the final word: they can win the right way--above board. They don't have to be those horrible, manipulative DC sharks anymore. They can achieve their dreams and goals in an honorable, clean way. Okay, bet. Fitz was absolutely right.
Fitz & Susan
Fitz implores Susan to come clean in her lies. How bad can it go, right? Look how well things turned out for him! *sarcasm*
That truth bomb thoooo??? "I did not earn this office. I was not fairly elected to this office."
Come to Jesus
Marcus, just like Liv thought, was the right person to go with Mellie. He softened her by highlighting that there's a side of Mellie America has not seen & she can show them that down-to-earth side by reading Mean Tweets. Also, does Marcus keep hate tweets?
Lawd Ronnie Dead
Right when Susan decided she was gonna tell the truth, there was a ram in the bush. I guess Olivia used this as a sign too that she ain't bout that thug life for real for real because...
Olivia Calls a Truce
She calls Fitz to her office through Quinn (who I'm assuming told Abby to tell Fitz...*sigh* they're so childish) and she admitted that she wants to win with her pride & dignity. Glad she came to that conclusion b/c it wasn't gonna happen for her if she kept on like she was. This is only good for Olitz. We saw every time Olivia did something particularly evil ie Defiance, releasing her devil daddy, etc. it caused major rifts in her relationship with Fitz. & hey y'all, did you notice Olivia actually told Fitz one of the things she wanted (see above)? PROGRESS PEOPLE! Agreeing to run clean campaigns is a positive step forward for Olitz's relationship.
There are what, 4 episodes left this season?
What did you guys think? Let me know!!
-Candyce
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